 |
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. |
|
|
|
|
AST Technical Support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with
the dust cover on. The "cover" turned out to be the plastic bag it was packaged
in. |
|
|
|
|
A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't
read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and
heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the
diskettes and then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels. |
|
|
|
|
An AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later,
a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies. |
|
|
|
|
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive
and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on and was heard putting the phone
down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. |
|
|
|
|
A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40
minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece
of paper by holding it in front of the monitor/screen and repeatedly pressing the
"Send" key. |
|
|
|
|
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so the Dell technician
suggested that he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got a couple of friends... "
the customer replied. When he was told Egghead is a software store, the man said "Oh.
I thought you meant a couple of geeks." |
|
|
|
|
A Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned
it by filling his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then
removing all the keys and washing them individually. |
|
|
|
|
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer
had told him he was "bad and invalid." The tech was forced to explain that the
computer's "Bad Command" and "Invalid" responses were not to be taken
personally. |
|
|
|
|
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Technical Support couldn't get her knew Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked what
happened when she pushed the power button. Her response: "I pushed and pushed on this
foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse. |
|
|
|
|
A customer called Compaq Technical Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't
work. She said that she unpacked it, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting
for something to happen. When asked what happened what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she asked "What power switch?" |
|
|
|
|
A true story from a Novell NetWare System Operator:
CALLER: Hello. Is this Technical Support? TECH: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
CALLER: The cup holder on my PC is broken, and I am within my warranty period. How do I
go about getting that fixed.
TECH: I'm sorry. Did you say a cup holder.
CALLER: Yes. It's attached to the front of my computer.
TECH: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. I am. Did you receive this as a part of
a promotional? At a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have a trademark
on it?
CALLER: It just came with my computer. I don't know anything about it being a
promotional. It just has "4X" on it.
At this point, the technician had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The
caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it
off the drive! |
|
|
|
|
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech
asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in
the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine." |
|
|
|
|
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring
up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" |
|
|
|
|
Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech
Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right
speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective.
Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right
side of the machine and vice versa."
Customer: (sputter) (click)
Tech Support: (snicker) |
|
|
|
|
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month
when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print
yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only
true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan
and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for
yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and
reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new
ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send
the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on
piece of white paper instead of this yellow construction paper?"
Sometimes the user can teach us a thing or two about tech support. |
|
|
|
|
Email from a friend: "CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?" |
|
Some excerpts from a Wall Street Journal
article by Jim Carlton.
|
